The Silence Of Men

Lets start with this line " I am a father i sold my dreams so that i could buy everyone's dreams. Listen to me sometimes my beloved children -my tale, my story. And definitely ask me, where did my youth go which was once full of colors" 

 Men don't cry 

yeah, it started from this same sentence but is it true?

Living under the burden of being a man is not easy but with time, men learn how to make it crown covered with thorns ( in a simple word responsibilities).

On many occasion, i have tried to talked about this topic, and it ends up sounding taboo. 

Why it is taboo and why can't men can in front of those whom they (men) care for and crave respect from them not sympathy?

I will answer this later but first men are creatures who see everything in advance(overthinker). This  means if they (men) is trying to talk, he just wants a listener. To avoid this scenario,  they hide it and deep down that small issue will haunt men for very long time. Some let it out with anger, and some try try to escape through bad habits. 

And why don't men cry of show their weakness or soft corners to anyone? Because the moment men start to express their anxiety, fear or pain for that moment they might feel someone's empathy-but no longer respect. The tag of a weak man sticks, and that feeling feels heavier than any weight. 

A man says:

 The pains (sorrows) that are in heart-if  i say them, my tongue will burn; if i keep them in my heart, i am afraid they will burn my ribs and bones.

Men are providers, protectors and shields, which are fine, and these roles are what make men in our culture emotionally strong. 

I get this question a lot:

"Have you ever experienced depression or how you deal with mental health issues?

My answer is. "Responsibilities".

That is my strength and antidote for depression.

But still men's mental health is something that needs to be discussed more. 

To all of my kind (men):  it is fine to be vulnerable, to lose, to cry, feel unsafe. Don`t be hard on yourself, it is ok to fail, it is ok to be sad someday. You don't need to be positive everyday.

Life has two ends:

One is Birth and one is death. Both of them are not in your hands. Even if one of  them were in your control, you might have managed. So all you have is the middle-live it and go with the flow.

Khat (Letter) from a Father

This letter is for you 

There are few things in our life which we often feel but never express, i also have something on my mind but i don't think i will ever be able to say that to you all that is why i am writing this letter.

Can't figure from where i should start?

We all have limited time and however we might have, it always seems less, and you can become what ever you want to be, everyday do something new, learn somethings and understand something new, don't doubt in anything and gain experience and experience is valuable, it means experience everything but don't get addicted. Experience will help you differentiating right from wrong, it will prevent you from committing mistakes but don't be afraid of committing mistakes because only those who do something remarkable make mistakes, remember to take responsibility of your mistakes and try to rectify them.

learn to forgive others. No one likes to commit mistakes, it also means be as lenient to others as you are to yourself, love everyone unfortunately love is very spare in this world and everyone needs it.

Love and respect is something everyone need you will need it too.... don't hesitate to ask for it and don't hesitate to show it..

Life is very short the moment you get to know it it will be at it's end.

Express your feeling it is purest form of you, it can melt stones and burns the hate. 

Laugh deeply and always cry hard like a baby you are vulnerable, let the childishness be alive within you that will be something which should not change in you.

Think about future but don't worry about it......

Think about past but don't lost in it......

In life there will be good and bad day, remember don't boast too much when the days are good and in bad day don't lose hope.

Don't give yourself all the credit for your success and never blame others for you failures.

Just keep going and spread happiness the world need a lot.  

     

Compare yourself

Why do i prefer  this a fair click ?

It expresses lots of emotions of frozen kids.

Since i was in Afghanistan in refugee camp and bunch of kids came to me, with ideas that i am here to give them something for winter such as clothes and food, but unfortunately i was there just to do survey for university project.

These kids with much hopes started to show me their living condition and it was very distressing, and the joy in their eyes hit me so hard, then i decided at least i can do something for them, so they asked me to click their frozen hands  and it will be enough to convey the message.

At the present time the entire world is constantly comparing themselves, it has became so important to show others that " I am Happy " rather ourselves.

Showing others that i am content take lots of efforts compare to ourselves. 

Most of us spend our lives to make others happy, those who became happy were not mine and those who were mine didn't become happy.

In to this endless race, only way to win , is to lose it.

 The finishing line would be, if you want to compare your situation then do it with people less fortunate that is when you will taste contentment, and nothing is sweeter than being content. We will be able to see how happy and fortune we are specially at this present days.

Door to peace

A second interpretation of World ( Dunya ) from my perspective by using these characters which i will explain.

1.chasing lion 

2.Deep well

3.Long Rope

4.One black rat and one white rat

5.Beneath of deep well an alligator 

6. Somewhere in deep well a door which leads to a safe house

7. Honey beehive 

So i ´m hanging in deep well on a long rope and right in front of me is a huge honey beehive with sweetest honey,  honestly every bite we take from it make us delusional about what actually happing around.

Definition 

1.Chasing lion (Death, the fact that always chasing us until gets us)

2.Deep well (Our lifespan)

3.Long Rope (Our age that we are hanging on it in this deep well)

4.One black rat and one white rat (Black rat is night and white rat is day which are eating the rope slowly)

5.Beneath of deep well an alligator (Our last destination hell if we don´t find the door)

6. Somewhere in deep well a door which leads to a safe house ( Our last destination heaven if we find this door)

7. Honey beehive ( Eventually the today ´s life) that full of delusion, sweet lies which keep us so  busy consuming it that make us forget the fact that death is chasing us in deep well, we are hanging, at same time the day and night rats are eating the rope which is our lifespan, so before i fall to beneath i need to use the rope to find the door to end up somewhere peace.

The question that i always ask myself is what is more important, the slavery of our ego, lust, greed, hate,power, injustice or actual door which lead to peace without harming anyone?

Feeling of unhappiness

A feeling of unhappiness or jealousy, it sound really dramatic but i believe that nowadays it have seem to be usual, not because we are evil but we doubt the tune of our ability, to be assure i will add that we compare our self with those who have been blessed with fortunes, fortune of someone which might look so luxurious from outside, which remind me of a line " everyone can see that how successful i have become but none can see my feet's abscess ".

So if i measure myself with some who is in good status then me, i will feel depressed and unhappy which can change it to jealousy but i if do it other-way around in a good sense, it will lend me a hand to feel gratitude. 

I feel sure each one experienced these feelings but as i always say we are not white or black, we are gray.

White as in all time positive, happy, grateful, soft-spoken.

 Black as in all time negative, sad, ungrateful, harsh.

Gray as in we are kind of in between which inferior in stage of mind where in all occasions we remind our self that i might be in good circumstances than someone who is not able to walk, speak or sightless, this kind of compare is healthy, it educate us in great amount and lead us to being grateful and so on to from feeling of unhappiness to HAPPY.   

C is Between B and D

 Life is a journey between B and D,

B is Birth and D is Death, but C is in between? what is C?

C is choice, a Choice to suffer or not to suffer.

why most of time when we get hurt in life no matter what it is, career, relationship, love or anything why the pain is not going away even if it happened long time ago.

I have been asked once that why pain never finishes. I believe the question is wrong, the question should be,

 when the pains will get reduce, the answer is when you stop touching the wound every day, the wound will keep getting fresh and it will keep hurting you.

Now you have the (C) choice that do you want to suffer or not to suffer, feel hurt or not to get hurt.

For example, if someone from China or any other country that I don't understand the language comes and start insulting me, what will I do? Umm ... I don't understand him, so I won't mind him maybe he is saying I have good hair style or asking me something.

The conclusion is that will I take/accept his word and allow myself to get insulted.

Inspired from Life.

 

 

Villain VS Hero

Most Important part of any Movie or Story is the Villain, which is always stronger then our Hero but still at end Villain Loses.

but today i  try to go a bit deep,

lately i Watched a Movie called Joker, in which a man who is quite caring and friendly, innocent but under some pressure and torture of society, job and family.

i will stop here so i can  explain  the point,

In real life the flashback of a Hero and a Villain are very same like the sadness, struggles and so on but
the only thing which is different is the way they both react to society and situations.

Their are  two factors,
first Forgiving and
second is revenge

Easy one is to take revenge so the villain chooses it and react ,
but the one which is brighter and make one a hero is forgive and to  makes a decision that i won't allow the circumstances to change my reality because we are all hero of our own stories, being a hero is tough to become that why most End up being Villain.
a line which fits in this i don't know the name of one who wrote
"I am not what happened to me I am what i have choose to become"

the moment of deciding is when the bad things start happening,
but  it is time to choose the route,
like most people who goes through Heart break , divorce , financial crisis.
they can have that  moment when they decide i will work hard on  my self  to come out of this because they won't allow the situations to dictate their now and future.

the biggest answer for them is not to hurts themselves and society, it is to forgive and get out of their reach.

Forgiving is glory of Hero.
Revenge is sign of weakness or Villain.

Inspired